1. WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO?
I’m a self-employed anythinger. I think the job-description John Key might use is: “Freeloading arty type”.

2. WHAT ARE SOME OF THE THINGS YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR JOB?
I can turn up late for work and I won’t fire myself. I also won’t pay myself but still…

3. HOW DID YOU COME ACROSS SILO?
I was having a spew out the back of Tanuki’s Cave and I saw all these homeless people wandering around in the carpark. Then I looked closer and saw it was Oliver Driver and some other actors from 90’s television. They had taken over this smelly old junkie den and started putting on plays.

3. WHAT ELECTRONIC DEVICES CAN YOU NOT LIVE WITHOUT?
Life Support Machines. Not me personally, but if all your organs fail and you’re brain dead, you can’t live without one.

4. MAC OR PC?
Windows on a Mac. Who really gives a shit. If you use them for anything other than jerking off or looking at social media (same thing), all computers break after 2 years. Remember those old Mac G4 things? They had like, 2gb hard-drives. Those things were about five thousand dollars!!! Mac users are getting reamed yearly and still come back for more: “Ooh, can you please ream me again, but this time with a retina display and front-facing camera?”

5. DO YOU HAVE AN IPHONE?
Have you tried doing actual serious emailing on these things? Forget it. iPhone mail should just have a built in auto-reply that says, “I’ll respond to this when I get to a real computing device that can download your attachment, open it in another program, allow me to make edits and give detailed notes, and then compose a message with actual, real punctuation, n shit.”

And yes, I have one. I own an iPhone.

7. ADMIT A GUILTY PLEASURE?
I like to pretend I’m fighting John Key in a pub brawl, and I end up punching him, but I accidentally hit him so hard that it obliterates the entire National Party.

8. WHERE DO YOU FIND INSPIRATION?
Those little inspirational Rumi quotes that people post on Facebook, right beneath a photo of a bald eagle or a dolphin.

9. WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO SOMEONE WANTING TO GET INTO WHAT YOU DO?
My advice is “Do it!” Do what? Do whatever it is you think I’m doing that you think is worth doing. It’s great. But whatever you do, don’t listen to other people, especially those who try to give you advice; in that situation you should do the complete opposite.